Photo by Syed Ali on Unsplash

The Young Male Geek’s Guide to Complete Misery — 9 Simple Steps

You there. Young man. Yeah you.

Lonely and miserable, yet?

Let’s face it. We live in a world that doesn’t think much of anything male or masculine these days.

Especially you, young male, you and your lot. What, you’re geek too? and straight?

Oh man. Some mothers do have ‘em.

Complete Misery is your destiny.

But you’re not there yet. Perhaps I can help finish you off.

Here are 9 simple steps to achieving Complete Misery as a Young Male Geek.

1. Listen to the news frequently

It will speed the misery, and remind you of all the horrible stuff You and Your Lot have done to the world.

2. Never ever think for yourself, or trust your own judgement

Independent, individual thought is a terrible burden, as well as a curse on those around you.

3. First thing in the morning, check social media

And keep checking throughout the day, to be reminded of how much you just don’t measure up.

4. Burn/delete great writings (and never EVER read them)

Anything classic, ancient, wise, or insightful? Dangerous to the mind.

Plato, Aristotle, Moses, Gothe, David, Solomon, Shakespeare, Molière, all of ‘em.

5. Avoid doing anything risky, bold, different, or scary

Stick to the plan and narrative with which we programmed you from birth.

And heavens, don’t build anything useful!

6. Keep the company of other miserables and reprobates

You know, The Bitter Club. Incels, Mgtows and the like. Avoid all who might help you chart a brighter course.

7. Avoid all who who Think Differently, or are kind-hearted, thoughtful, or optimistic

Such people don’t really exist, anyway. If they did, they’d quit minding their own business and be easier to find.

8. Pornography, alcohol and mind-numbing chemicals are your friend

They will feed your self-loathing. That’s what you want, right?

9. At all times, remember: The people who hate you are going UP

YOU, and your ilk, and going DOWN. It’s a Zero-Sum World.

Accept. Embrace.

And The Big Guy in the Sky? He ain’t there. Doesn’t give a damn about you anyway.

Feeling worse about yourself? EXCELLENT. My work today is done. DM me if I can help any further.

This post was created with Typeshare




Curiosity. Questions. Simplicity. Principles. Meaning. The Vital Few, not the Trivial Many. Be your own Chief Questions Officer.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

I just signed up for Medium two months ago.

The 2021 Megent Financial Toy Drive


Telephones, teabags and traditional Media – Ten 1990’s memories to beef up business in 2018

PDF Download!@ The One Year Praying Through the Bible for Your Kids Read ^book &ePub

The Minimalists’ Guide to Neon

Appraisals 2020 : How to secure your home position during lock-downs.

{UPDATE} My small cats simulator Hack Free Resources Generator

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
David Kimbell

David Kimbell

Curiosity. Questions. Simplicity. Principles. Meaning. The Vital Few, not the Trivial Many. Be your own Chief Questions Officer.

More from Medium

The 20 Most Expensive Sneakers Ever Made

The Fable Duology — Breathe in Books

10 Ways to get fit without a workout routine!

Good food can improve your health