Ship 30 for 30
The Young Canadian Male’s Guide to Discovering your Capacity for Self-Deception, by Finding Yourself Alone with a Pretty Girl on a Swiss train: 10 Essential Steps
Follow these steps in order.
Otherwise your Self-Deception Awareness Index (SDAI) will remain zero.
Step 1 — Ensure you’re raised with straight-laced, stiff-upper-lip, No-Sex-Here-Please-We’re-British values.
(Zero exposure to continental European values.)
Step 2 — In 1989, be a young male.
Single and rather, um, innocent in the ways of the world.
Step 3 — Late one evening in Salzburg, board a crowded overnight train for Basel.
Do your best to sleep while crammed cheek-by-jowl with other travellers.
Step 4 — In Zurich, wake groggily, and realize most other travellers got off the train.
You are now alone with a delightfully chatty blonde girl who doesn’t seem to mind you’re a baby-faced young male.
Step 5–30 minutes out of Basel, smile and nod politely when she announces she needs to change her clothes.
Then look out the window at the passing countryside. Because, of course, she’s heading to the onboard WC.
WARNING: She is not.
Step 6 — After a minute, be curious why it’s taking her so long to head to the WC.
C’mon, it doesn’t take that long ….
Step 7 — Immediately jerk head back towards the window.
Because you have just seen far more of Delightfully Chatty Young Lady than your red-blooded male self ever expected to see.
Step 8 — While enjoying the Swiss mountains, tell yourself emphatically, “I did NOT see that!”
Repeat this step as often as needed to obtain certainty.
Step 9 — Now, secure in the knowledge that your senses have betrayed you ….
Look back in her direction.
Step 10 — Jerk back towards the window, and tell yourself just as emphatically, “OH YES I DID!”
Congratulations: You are now fully awakened to your Capacity for Self-Deception.
This procedure has been fully tested and validated.
